Wednesday 7/28 - IMDB

Jon, Alex and I love to play trivia. We all can usually remember the most obscure facts. Many times it relates to popular entertainment like movies and TV shows.

This skill was always lost on Kathleen.

"Why do you remember such details as who played Pinkie Tuscadero on Happy Days, when you can't remember to feed the cats?"

Jon and I like using the Internet Move Database at http://www.imdb.com for our fact source. Type in an actor's name or a movie title and you'll return results with complete details. Each actor's name is also hyperlinked to allow you to search for all of the movies and TV shows they have starred in. Even movies that have yet to be released are listed.

It's fun to look at some popular "new" actors of today and see that they have been working for many years. Sometimes just billed as "the doorman" or some minor role when they were waiting tables in Venice, CA and working the odd acting job.

Tuesday 7/27 - Burn, Scab, Scar

Fine.

That's the only really answer I can give to "How are you doing?"

Fine.

"How are the Boys?"

Fine.

Anything else is just too complicated. And maybe people really don't want to know the whole answer. So "fine" seems to work just fine.

But the real answer is that hurts tremendously. Words do not describe the intense pain of what has happened. And how we must move forward and get on with our lives.

The best way I can describe it is that this is similar to a third degree burn. It hurts. It really, really hurts. It hurts yesterday, today and I know it will hurt tomorrow.

Oh, a scab might start to form as the pain heals. But everyday, there is something that rips the wound open again. Today it was reading the Creve Coeur City August Newsletter which had a feature story of Kathleen on the front page. The pain and bleeding starts again.

In time I suppose, the scab will form and fall off.

But the scar will be there forever.

As a reminder of what happened.

Saturday 7/24 - Exercise

This was my first week back to work. Things are getting back to normal or at least the "new normal".

Several years ago, Kathy and I realized that these days would come. Probably sooner rather than later. So my health became as important to her and me as just hers alone. We both became more active and watched what we ate.

I started a more aggressive exercise program, swimming, running, biking and weights. In the first year, I dropped 40 pounds. I subsequently gained some of that back as muscle the second year.

So in addition to working again, I've started my exercise routine. I can't get to the gym as often so I'm running around the subdivision in the early morning and evening time. And getting to the YMCA at lunch for some swim time.

I've found a great online tool for tracking my activity, time and mileage. It is the Cool Running website available at http://www.coolrunning.com . Look for the Resources icon and select the Running log. You can also track other sports such as swimming or biking. It will keep a daily, weekly, monthly and yearly total of your time and mileage. You can export back to your PC as well as prepare some simple graphs. All Free. Check it out!

Thursday 7/22 - PC Virus Tips

Over the past few weeks, many friends and fmaily have been infected with new PC viruses. Be sure to have up-to-date anti-virus software loaded. PC viruses can be prevented with simple precautions:

Virus Detection and Prevention Tips

• Do not open any files attached to an email from an unknown, suspicious or untrustworthy source.
• Do not open any files attached to an email unless you know what it is, even if it appears to come from a dear friend or someone you know. Some viruses can replicate themselves and spread through email. Better be safe than sorry and confirm that they really sent it.
• Do not open any files attached to an email if the subject line is questionable or unexpected.
• Delete chain emails and junk email. Do not forward or reply to any to them. These types of email are considered spam, which is unsolicited, intrusive mail that clogs up the network.
• Do not download any files from strangers.
• Exercise caution when downloading files from the Internet. Ensure that the source is a legitimate and reputable one. Verify that an anti-virus program checks the files on the download site. If you're uncertain, don't download the file at all or download the file to a floppy and test it with your own anti-virus software.
• Update your anti-virus software regularly. Over 500 viruses are discovered each month, so you'll want to be protected. These updates should be at the least the products virus signature files. You may also need to update the product's scanning engine as well.
• Back up your files on a regular basis. If a virus destroys your files, at least you can replace them with your back-up copy. You should store your backup copy in a separate location from your work files, one that is preferably not on your computer.
• When in doubt, always err on the side of caution and do not open, download, or execute any files or email attachments. Not executing is the more important of these caveats.

Tuesday 7/20 - Family Values

Kathy and I always joked that we each enjoyed being a single parent---as long as it wasn't for too long. In the short run, it was always easier to work with the boys, decide what was for dinner and how the evening would play out. But we'd grow tired of it if it went on for more than 7 or 10 days. If it did, we'd start wearing thin and the house "karma" would get chaotic.

Fortunately, neither of our work schedules took us away from home many times for such long durations.

For those of you who knew us, you knew we were both very analytical people who enjoyed knowing the rules and how to succeed within that structure. Several years ago, Kathy and I started work on "rules" for the Mansfield house. What we valued together and how we'd want those values to affect our family. We pulled from numerous sources and freely edited. These rules helped to remind us and the boys our mutual rights as well as responsibilities of being a family.

Today started the 10th week for me as a single parent. So I took the time to re-edit the rules, discuss them with the boys and re-post them in our kitchen. Thought some of you might enjoy seeing them:

In the Mansfield house, we value:

Honesty. When you tell me something, I can believe it. I can also count on you not to omit important information that you know I’d like to receive.

Perseverance. We don’t give up easily. If something’s tough, I expect you to keep trying. If you hit a roadblock, come to me and I’ll try to help. If we can go no further, then so be it, but we give 100 percent effort.

Compassion for others. In our family we try to put ourselves in other people’s shoes. I expect you to care about my and other people’s feelings, and to act accordingly.

Faithfulness. We celebrate God in our house. We will pray each day and we will give blessings for our meals. We also will attend church on a regular basis.

Volunteerism. When we can help others, we will. Whether this means a quick trip to deliver food or supplies to someone in need, to help a neighbor or friend who needs us, or to work a community service project, we will try to give back to this world some of the blessings that we have received.

Responsibility. In our household, we keep our promises and fulfill our responsibilities. If you or I say that we will do something by a certain date or time, it will be done. If we run into a problem or a time crunch, we will alert the person and work out a solution. We do not take responsibility lightly.

Zero tolerance for illegal substance use. No one in our home will use illegal substances. That includes underage alcohol usage (a substance that becomes legal at age 21) or street drugs of any kind. None, nada, zip, zilch.

Work before play. I expect you to get your homework done before going out with friends, playing videogames or watching TV or engaging in hours of outside play. Sure, you can take a break after school, but I don’t want to deal with homework hassles at bedtime. I also expect that household chores will be performed in a timely manner.

Politeness. I will be polite to you, even when irritated or annoyed, and I expect the same in return. Sure, we may get a bit testy at times, but I will apologize for my slip-ups, as I expect you to do also.

Respect for elders. Although I may seem a bit old-fashioned at times and perhaps “out of it,” I expect your respect. Find tolerance for my “senior dad moment of forgetfulness” and my disciplinary ways, but value my years of experience and wisdom. In return, you’ll see that I will show great respect for your thoughts and behaviors.

Communication even when grumpy. When you’re upset and sulky, I know that you may not want to talk with me. That’s understandable. But please understand that your lack of communication leaves me guessing — I don’t know whether it’s something that I’ve done (or not done) or whether it has to do with your friends or school. Your grumpiness can frighten me and I need to know the cause. You don’t have to tell me intimacies or secrets, just let me know where it’s coming from and whether I can help. In return, I will respect your feelings and give you your privacy.

Athletic endeavors. We value a healthy body as well as a strong mind. Therefore, I’d like you to try out some sports, both individual and team, until you find one that you like or at least can tolerate. If not, then you need to run, jog, or exercise in some fashion at least three times a week. I’ll do it with you if you want a partner in pain.

Academic achievement. In this family, we work to our potential. I don’t expect you to necessarily be the best student at school but I do want you to complete all of your homework assignments and to study adequately for tests.

Reliability and promptness. I will be on time and so will you. I can be counted on to pick you up when I say I will so you will not be left waiting. On your part, you will be ready to go when it is time to leave or be picked up. Also, when you say that you’ll be home by a certain time, it will be that time—not 15 minutes later. When I call you in from outside play, I expect you to hear me and to come right home.

Monday 7/19 - A New Normal

One of the things I am starting to realize is that things will never be the same for me or my family. The best we can hope for is to get to a "new" normal. With Kathy gone from our day-to-day lives, we have to hunker down and get to work. But that is easier said than done.

Last week, Jon and I went to summer Boy Scout camp. He should have gone last Sunday (7/11). But we were there by Thursday afternoon. Normally, no merit badge can be earned if you arrive after Tuesday, bu the aquatics director did the right thing. He peeled off a scout staffer who spent most of Friday working with Jon. thank you Mike Brand. By 5 pm, Jon had his Lifesaving Merit Badge. A sense of accomplish for the week.

I've started back to work. There are still a thousand million details to work out. Starting to get a handle on a lot of the open things to worry about. Starting to see those hospital/doctor bills start to come. Of course, it seems that the ICU doctors aren't in our plan, even though the hospital is covered. Not sure how this can happen but that's something to worry about later.

Sunday 7/18 - Photography Copyrights

Slashdot (the Linux/techie website) has a running discussion going on professional photographers who retain the copyrights for weddings and other photographs. The discussion centers on whether photographers will give limited reproduction rights for electronic media, scans, disks, CDs, website, etc. Some do, most fo not. A lot of the users focus on the fact that newlyweds pay thousands of dollars for a photographer to take photos of THEM and then hold them hostage for reprints, etc. Why shouldn't this be "work for hire" where the buyer owns the work?

http://ask.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=04/07/14/1455222&tid=187&tid=98&tid=4

Would you pay extra to have electronic copies of your professional photographs? Would you pay for the entire copyright or just limited reproductions? Are you a professional photographer and if so, what do you think?

Share your story or comments by clicking the Cmments link below.

Saturday 7/17 - Alternative to Microsoft Internet Explorer

Microsoft has conquered most of the computing universe and Internet and Explorer is the dominant web browser. Something like 98% of all web users have IE loaded on their PCs.

Resistance is futile. You have been assimilated.

But it is not the only browser around.

I've found the new Firefox browser to be a good alternative. There are several new cool features, like tabbed windows and custom themes, that make it superior to the latest version from Microsoft. And it appears to be less vulnerable to the MS Windows exploits that have plagued Microsoft of the past few years.

You can download the latest version from the mozilla website for free:
http://www.mozilla.org/products/firefox/

Would you consider switching to another web browser? Have you tried the Firefox software? What do you think?

Click the comments link below to post your thoughts...