Sunday Dec 26 - Boxing Day

Just a quick update for those of you checking in with the mansfields. We rallied and Christmas has come and gone.

We had a very late start. The tree had been up for a few weeks but we did not have the heart or spirit to get it decorated. So it all came down to this last week. Last Sunday we went to see Scott in St. John Lutheran's annual Cristmas concert. Barb and Mary Kay went with us. It was something that Kathy really enjoyed doing each year. Very contemprorary but a start for the holiday season.

On Monday, Cheri took the boys out shopping. I think they really enjoyed spening money. Especially someone else's. But it was a very kind and considerate act that filled a need. The boys were able to get some things without me there.

On Tuesday Scott and Trish invited the boys over for an early celebration. Wednesday we went swimming. And on Thursday, Cheri and her mom invited us for dinner and helped the boys make holiday cookies.

Friday night Jim and Carolyn Bradley invited us to go with them for evening services. Best of all, they were going early for the choir and band and saved us seats. So we rolled in at 4:25 and were able to sqeeze in up front. We decorated the tree in time for the presents!

Kathy had several presents saved away that I gave out. I'm sure these were hard to accept.

Saturday saw us have 20+ over for brunch and dinner. the Wilhites in the morning and the Davidson's in the evening. We had to put people to work to pull it all off. And there was certainly a void without Kathy. But we did the best we could.

Oh, and here's a little history on Boxing Day

Monday 12/20 - No Greater Grief

"No greater grief than to remember days
Of joy when misery is at hand"
- Dante, Hell. Canto v. Line 121

• Visting the Missouri Botanical Garden for the holiday displays
• Reading "Polar Express" in the evenings
• Making homemade cookies (sugar, chocolate chip and oatmeal-raisin)
• Putting up the outside lights
• Decorating the tree
• Advent Calendar chocolate
• Watching "It's a Wonderful Life"
  
• Singing "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch"
• Staying warm on a cold winter's night.
  

Friday 12/17 - Traffic Report

YAHOO just announced a new feature to its website: Real Time Traffic. It's the first national website to do so. Although many TV websites across the country have provided this service for year, this new YAHOO service provides the first national service on a major portal.

http://maps.yahoo.com/traffic

Sunday 12/12 - A Slow Start

It's a slow start for us for the holiday season.

Christmas was always a favorite holiday time. But as you can imagine, it's not so cheerful this year.

We don't have the lights out. And the tree isn't up.

But there's time yet.

Friday 11/26 - Turkey Day II

Many years ago, Kathy and I agreed that we'd start and maintain our own holiday traditions. Kathy had almost aways depended upon her family for that support. But I was always unfortable in such large family outings. And I was usually hungry hours before they ever got any food out and served.

So we compromised. We'd do our own things first and then visit for dessert. And if we were lucky, they'd just be eating around that time anyway. It just worked out better that way. And Kathy never had to endure the indignity of stopping at McDonalds on Thanksgiving to get me something so I wouldn't be so grouchy if we didn't eat for 5 or 6 hours.

So this year presented a bit of a challenge. What to do? I knew that the boys and I would be most comfortable doing something here. So we invited everyone over.

I think the headcount came to over 12. Jon was most excited to see his cousins back from college. We ate, we drank, we watched Shrek2 and School of Rock.

Kathy's sister Barb was a great help in getting things under control with me in the kitchen. We had all the regular itms: ham, turkey, stuffing, green beans. Even made the dessert kathy liked the most: sweet potatoes with marshmallow topping. Plus apple, pumnpkin and pecan pies.

It's what Kathy would have expected us to do.

Thursday 11/25 - Turkey Day Part 1

I decided to make this Thanksgiving a bit diiferent and ran in the Chesterfield MO 5k race this morning. I'm just glad I finished. But I was slower on the first mile than I wanted to be. There was too much black ice on the ground and I was very concerned about slipping. I already fell in the parking lot just getting out of the car. So with my right hand throbbing and elbow bruised up, I was not about to do it again running a 7 minute mile. My chip time was just over 26 minutes. I know I did a lousy 10 minute run the first mile, a little over 8 on the second and then started to regain my time on the third mile. But it was exciting to do, despite the ice and 26 degree weather.

Chesterfield Turkey Trot, Nov 2004

• Overall
• By Age Group

Friday 11/19 - Lifetime Achievement

Today, The East West Gateway Council of Governments (http://www.ewgateway.org) held their annual business meeting and awards luncheon. It was held downtown St. Louis with about 500 attendees, including many notable county and city officials (county executives, mayors, councilmen, and staff)

I accepted an award to Kathleen for Lifetime Achievement. Many of Kathleen's friends and professional colleagues were also in attendance.

Gateway Lifetime Achievement Award
Outstanding Local Government Achievement Awards
East West Gateway Council of Governments

Kathleen M. Mansfield (posthumously)

Nominated by: Mark Perkins, City Administrator, Creve Coeur

Michael McDowell, City Manager Olivette

The late Kathleen M. Mansfield, Assistant City Administrator for the City of Creve Coeur, Missouri, is nominated for the Gateway Lifetime Achievement Award for 2004. While it is recognized that a posthumous nomination for this recognition is unusual, the nominators suggest that the life of Kathleen Mansfield serves as a shining beacon of unselfish and professional public service to the entire St. Louis Region and an enviable example for all who strive to serve the public with honor.

Kathleen was born and raised in Berkeley, Missouri and her family has deep roots in the St. Louis area. She received a Bachelors degree from Southeast Missouri State University and a Master of Public Policy degree from Mississippi State University. She began her professional local government career with the City of Berkeley and was appointed as Assistant to the City Administrator for the City of Creve Coeur in 1987, serving three City Administrators over 16 years.

Her duties with the City during her tenure were many and varied, including human resources administrator, budget officer, management oversight over operating departments, liaison to several City boards and commissions, advising the City’s elected officials on critical issues, and working with employees and citizens. At all times, her service to the City and its citizens set the standard for professionalism and committed public service. A former Mayor of Creve Coeur said, “She was the most dedicated city employee that any city could hope to have. She had a personal relationship with every staff member, and they returned that attention with loyalty and kindness. Her one goal was to do what was right and what was best for the city of Creve Coeur. She was the most ethical person one could hope to have working for any organization. She was the consummate professional. Everybody who knew her will miss her terribly."

Included among Kathleen’s many accomplishments with Creve Coeur are:

• Development and regular updating of a comprehensive personnel policy for the City
• Primary responsibility for annual budget development that consistently received GFOA recognition for Outstanding Budget Presentation
• Development and management of an exemplery Performance Management Program for employee compensation and performance oversight
• Receipt of the 1995 Police Chief’s Award for crime prevention contributions to the community
• Primary liaison to the Creve Coeur Ethics Commission
• Developed and updated Creve Coeur’s first web page in partnership with her husband
• Chaired and implemented the City’s Information Technology Task Force
• Assisted the Tappmeyer Homestead Foundation in its efforts to preserve the historic Tappmeyer Homestead that was threatened by development
• Developed and implemented numerous administrative policies and procedures to improve the efficiency and effectiveness of the City’s service delivery systems
• Served as Interim City Administrator and interim department head during transition periods
• Wrote and edited the Creve Coeur citizen newsletter
• Served as a mentor and counselor to numerous City employees serving the City

This short listing of accomplishments only partially illustrates that respect and esteem that her fellow employees, elected officials, and citizens felt for Kathleen during the sixteen years that she served Creve Coeur. During that time, she set a high standard that will stand as an example for years to come.

In addition to her professional service in Creve Coeur, Kathleen Mansfield was also widely recognized and honored in the St. Louis Region and throughout Missouri for her public service contributions. The many honors and recognitions that came her way were a result of her active service to the public service community and her strong and unswerving commitment to excellence in all that she did. The most hated words in her vocabulary were “that’s good enough for government work” and she displayed her commitment by constantly encouraging her colleagues to better their skills and renew their commitments to public service.

Some of those regional honors and recognitions included:

• Serving as President of the St. Louis Area City Management Association
• Recognition as Missouri’s “Outstanding Local Government Assistant” in 1997 by the Missouri City Management Association
• Lifetime Achievement Award from the Missouri City Management Association in 2004
• Leadership in the Local Government CECH-UP Program at UM-St. Louis designed to expose middle school students to the local government environment
• President of the St. Louis Chapter of the International Personnel Management Association in 1995-96
• Served on the national Assistants Steering Committee of the International City/County Management Association
• Active in the CORO Foundation Midwestern Center for Women in Leadership
• Served on the Board of Directors of the Missouri City Management Association

More important than these specific accomplishments, however, was Kathleen’s positive influence on everyone she came in contact with. Kathleen loved being in local city government and most importantly loved sharing the profession with schoolkids and graduate students who wanted to follow her into her noble (but often misunderstood) profession. She was usually the first to invite new professionals into the "old boys club" and to welcome them into their professional associations. She also knew that through outreach and diversity, her chosen profession would be stronger than ever.

Kathleen was recognized as the primary mentor and support structure for numerous young local government professionals beginning their careers in the region. Over the past few months, many of these professionals have given testimony to her positive encouragement and career support as they have moved through their careers. Through hard work, personal sacrifice, and her ever-present love of people, she earned the universal respect and admiration of her professional colleagues in the region, across the State of Missouri, and nationally. These personal contacts and close relationships have directly impacted the quality of local government in our region and the commitment of local government professionals and elected officials to serve the public with integrity, honor, and excellence.

Kathleen Mansfield passed away on July 8, 2004 after a courageous four-year battle with scleroderma, a rare, chronic autoimmune (arthritis) disease that primarily affects females who are 30 to 50 years old. Kathleen was 44 at the time of her death. She leaves a loving husband, Rodger, and two sons, Jonathan and Alex.

Rodger Mansfield is currently establishing the Kathleen M. Mansfield Foundation to continue the legacy and commitment of Kathleen to excellence in local government. The Foundation will sponsor programs to educate young people about government and citizenship responsbilities, to encourage students and young professionals in the pursuit of local government careers, and to increase the knowledge among the general public about the value of quality local government in their lives. The Foundation is expected to begin operations in 2005.

This posthumous award is offered on behalf of the numerous people in the St. Louis Region whose lives were touched and made better by their friendship with and love for this remarkable woman. In her too-short 44 years, she had a disproportionate influence, in both local government and in life, in making our region a better place to live. We will always remember her example of excellence, commitment, courage, integrity, laughter, love of family, and uncompromising faith. Most of all, we will remember the many lessons that she taught by her life:

Kathleen taught us all how to laugh and how to love; how to win and how to lose.
She taught us how to live; and finally, she taught us how to die.

Sunday 11/14 - Internet Radio

As most of you know, I am a transplant to STL from Los Angeles, CA. Even after all of these years, I still think of my self as from LA.

The Internet has certainly helped to keep folks like me connected with our hometowns. When I first moved here, Kathy would often buy me a Los Angeles Times - Sunday Edition as a special treat. It was $7.00 from world news in West Port. And it was available on the following Wednesday. Now, I'm just a click away from reading the LA Times online each morning.

But an even better otpion is still listen to the local radio stations in your homeown. The kins folks at MIT started many years agao a listing of radio stations, especially those who had live feeds.

It's still around and better than ever. So if you are away from STL and want to here KWMU or KSHE live, check it out at http://www.radio-locator.com

Saturday 11/13 - Firefox 1.0

A few weeks ago I told you about a new broswer called FireFox. I've been using it for a a couple of months and think it's a great new PC tool. The beta testing is over and the version 1.0 has been released. Check it out. just remember that you'll still need IE on your PC for window security updates (ughhh) and some websites that only work with IE.

Just a few reasons to use it over internet Explorer:

Popup Blocking
Stop annoying popup ads in their tracks with Firefox's built in popup blocker.

Tabbed Browsing

View more than one web page in a single window with this time saving feature. Open links in the background so that they're ready for viewing when you're ready to read them.

Privacy and Security

Built with your security in mind, Firefox keeps your computer safe from malicious spyware by not loading harmful ActiveX controls. A comprehensive set of privacy tools keep your online activity your business.

Smarter Search

Google Search is built right into the toolbar, and there are a plethora of other search tools including Smart Keywords (type "dict " in the Location bar), and the new Find bar (which finds text as you type without covering up anything).

Live Bookmarks

RSS integration lets you read the latest news headlines and read updates to your favorite sites that are syndicated.

Hassle-Free Downloading

Files you download are automatically saved to your Desktop so they're easy to find. Fewer prompts mean files download quicker.

Fits Like a Glove

Simple and intuitive, yet fully featured, Firefox has all the functions you're used to - Bookmarks, History, Full Screen, Text Zooming to make pages with small text easier to read, etc.

Thursday 11/11 - 6 Months

It's been six months since Kathy went to St. John's. Just a minor problem. Back by the afternoon.

Four weeks in the regular hospital. Four weeks in ICU. The service. We made our trip to North Carolina. The pool party. First day of school. The birthdays. Our Anniversary. Halloween.

Where has the time gone?

Here are some of my favorite posts on the Kathy Report (http://kathyreport.blogspot.com)

• I Remember Kathleen
• What We Learned
• Jon's Post 7/8
• Today is a Good Day

Saturday 11/6 - Sclero What?

I still run across people who ask about Kathy. How's she doing? I expect a lot more as the holidays approach.

After the initial shock, we discuss scleroderma. Many still do not know about the disease.

So, some refreshers:

- All About Scleroderma from the Kathy Report
- Dr. Donohue's Syndicated Coumn Discusses Scleroderma

Finally, The Today Show will run a story on Scleroderma on Monday, November 8. I'll post

Friday 10/29 - The Bill

$800,000.00

That would buy over 400,00 gallons of gasoline. At 25 miles per gallon, that would be a million miles. Or about 40 trips around the earth at the equator.

It would buy 1.1 million tacos from Taco Bell.

It would buy 3.2 million cans of Diet Coke.

It would also buy a fixer-upper in Ladue Missouri. Servant quarters extra.

It did buy Kathleen 2 months at St. John's Mercy Medical Center plus numerous doctors, technicians, labs reports and equipment.

I just wrote the last check (unless someone ELSE decides to bill me) to pay them what the insurance company would not.

But it didn't buy any of us any real happiness.

Sunday 10/24 - Electoral Vote

As most of you know, Kathy was hard to figure our sometimes. When she was in her "work" mode, she became very neutral on most political issues. You'd never know if she was a Democrat or a Republican.

But at home, she and I would have some spirited discussions. She hated Rush, tolerated O'Reilly but loved Tony Snow. She loved Streisand as a singer but did not like her political opinions. We at least agreed about that!

Her humble childhood had left a great impact upon her. She usually fell into the Republican camp on most issues, but always with a little "r". She was truly a compassionate conservative. She was always mindful of those less fortunate. But she had pulled herself up and moved onto to a bigger life.

So here we are again with a divide nation about to decide the fate of the federal government for four years. But 50/50 doesn't mean much.

The game we play called "Elect a president" is not who gets the most popular votes but rather who gets the electoral college votes.

Here's a site that takes the opinion polls by state and calculates the college votes for a national total. Check it out. It's updated frequently.

http://www.electoral-vote.com/

Saturday 10/23 - Old Times

This past weekend, Steve came out from California. Steve and I have known each other since early high school. But most importantly, he was my best man at our wedding.

When Kathy died, he offered to come out, but we wanted to have more time. So we picked October. Just like when he was here 13 years ago.

So the skies were clear. The sun was shining. And the air was brisk and sharp.

We went to the City Museum and Union Station. Imos and Thies Farms (for pumpkins). And we made it to the brewery in downtown St. Charles.

He went back to LA last Sunday. Hard to believe it was 13 years ago.

Last night the boys and I watched some old videos of us in better times. Celebrating life. Enjoying Jon's 4th bday party. Alex's 1st. Reliving Kathy and my honeymoon to San Francisco.

The old and the new mixing together.

Saturday 10/16 - Jib Jab

In this overly critical presidential election. Sometimes it's just time to have some fun. If you have't seen them, visit JibJab for two very funny cartoons.

DC Land

This Land

Friday 10/15 - Google Desktop

Have you used Google for searching the web? It's probaly the best knowm and most often used search engine on the web. Out of millions of web pages, your search words can find the pages that you are looking for.

But how come you can't search your PC as quickly? The short answer is that Microsoft never developed really good search technologies inside Windows.

But Google has fixed that. Go to http://desktop.google.com and download their new desktop search tool.



After you install the software, Desktop Google will index most documents on your hard drive (for example, Word, Excel, PowerPoint, Outlook emails) and create an index.

The next time you do a Google search, a new link appears which will show results from your hard drive. And it is fast.

Don't worry, the results are not shared with other users or added to Google's web directory.

October 12 - Anniversary

Today was our anniversary. This is the worse day so far. Should have taken it off. But there are lots of things to do. So we will just push through it.

Kathy and I met ona blind date arranged by Cheri Adelstein and Dan Davison. It was a cold night February 10 1990 up at Case Gallardo's in West Port. We started dating after that and married in 1991.

Our weekend had beautiful weather. We were married at St. Joseph Church in Cottleville MO. We held our reception at the Montelle Winery in Agusta MO.

That afternoon, we flew off to San Francisco. Spent several days around the city. Kathy and I really enjoyed the time there. She had never seen San Francisco and enjoyed such a beautiful city. We did all the great things, the bridge, Chinatown, the wharf and of course, Lombardo street. We then headed north to the wine country. Went to every winery that would let us in. We then headed south. Kathy didn't want to go to Hearst Castle. Thought it was too much money (at the time it was $25 per person). But once she saw it, she wanted to do it again.

Later in the week, we met up with my frinds and family in Los Angeles for another reception.

Seems like yesterday.

Thursday 9/30 - Lunch

Today we held our very first Foundation lunch. Marti Thomas called me a month ago and said she wanted to help raise the funds for the paperwork filing fees. She runs a charitable organization and it was a big expense to get things going.

So we made some flyers and invited enough people to meet our goal----50 people and at least $500.00. Nancy O'Laughlin decorated the room. Dawn helped to keep things trunning. Pat helped set up. Food was served on time. Brian Stockman tooks some great phtoos. Denise Ritcher collected the monies. My speech was kept short (by popular demand).

I'm please to report that we raised nearly $800 and had a great lunch too.

Kathy would have been very pleased. Check out the photos: Online Photos - Click HERE

9/25 - Birthday's Part II

It's been 5 months since Kathy was admitted to the hospital. And now nearly 3 months since she died. but it really seems like an eternity.

So as we really begin our year, September brought us the birthday challenges: Kathy's on the 19th and Alex and Barb's on the 20th.

Of course, Kathy was the chief party planner in our house. But we had a nice small party. Seems to have been OK. balloons, cards, cakes. All the regular kid stuff.

Today's we're going to Dave and Busters with a friend of Alex to celebrate some more. This should wrap it up.

Next month mark's our Wedding Anniversary. It just never ends.

Rodger

9/22 - Scleroderma Network Story

For those interested, I've posted a story about Kathleen on the Scleroderma Network.

You can read the story HERE

9/18 - Birthdays

It's Kathleen's birthday this weekend. Also Alex and Barb. It's not going to be easy.

Friday 9/17 - Firefox Browser

I enjoy using computers. it has been a great career choice for me over the past 25 years. I have always excelled at using Microsoft software. But not everything that Microsoft does is the best. One aspect is for web browsing. They were not first, but they knew how to win the race. Netscape had a better product at first but fumbled their software development and ended up selling out to AOL.

But part of their legacy lvies on. Before they sold, they started a project called Mozilla.org. this week they released a new, free browser called Firefox. it's available for downlaod at http://www.mozilla.org

It is fast and has a better polish than the current version of Internet Explorer. But best of all, it does not have the links to the MS Windows operating system system. This makes it less vulnerable to web attacks that have plagued the Net over the past two years. Don't be fooled tho, you still need virus protection on your PC at all times.

Saturday 9/11 - The Closet

We knew the time had come. Kathy's Closet.

It's just one of those things that had to be done. But actually doing it was a challenge.

Four of our friends came over last weekend and got to work. We decided that something good had to come from this disaster. So we picked two great organziations to benefit:

• Dress for Success - http://www.dressforsuccess.org/
  
• Feed my People - http://www.feed-my-people.org/
  

Most of the clothes were fall and winter. She hadn't had time in April to swap them out for the her spring collection. That's all still in the baseent for another day.

It was quite a mess sorting through all of the clothes. And it was bittersweet. After 15 years, there is a lot of memories in a women's wardrobe. Big events at work. evenings out at the Fox and the Muny. Anniversary dinners. Real "dates" without the kids.

We pulled aside many of her favorite T-shirts. especially those bought from our many trips around the country. We're going to make quilts with them to help keep us warm this winter.

We also saved the Cardinals and Rams shirts for the boys. They may be able to wear some of them soon. ;-)

My sincere thanks to Judy, Carol, Cheri and Cathy for your help.

Rodger

Friday 9/3 - Firsts

Just some random "firsts" over the past month...

- first vacation without her
- first time someone noticed I no longer wear my wedding ring
- first time I checked the box "single"
- first time "open house" at school
- first parent/teacher conference
- first time completing the Pupil Information Form for school. More sad in that her name was listed as a contact
- first time telling a telemarketer, Kathleen doesn't live here anymore
- first day at school
- first time walking though the Yankee Candle store thinking about which ones she'd like knowing that I really wouldn't be buying any.

Friday 8/27 - Recognizing and Avoiding Spyware

Because of its popularity, the internet has become an ideal target for advertising. As a result, spyware, or adware, has become increasingly prevalent. When troubleshooting problems with your computer, you may discover that the source of the problem is spyware software that has been installed on their machine without their knowledge.

What is spyware?

Despite its name, the term "spyware" doesn't refer to something used by undercover operatives, but rather by the advertising industry. In fact, spyware is also known as "adware." It refers to a category of software that, when installed on your computer, may send you pop-up ads, redirect your browser to certain web sites, or monitor the web sites that you visit. Some extreme, invasive versions of spyware may track exactly what keys you type.

Because of the extra processing, spyware may cause your computer to become slow or sluggish. There are also privacy implications:

• What information is being gathered?
• Who is receiving it?
• How is it being used?

How do you know if there is spyware on your computer?

The following symptoms may indicate that spyware is installed on your computer:

• you are subject to endless pop-up windows
• you are redirected to web sites other than the one you typed into your browser
• new, unexpected toolbars appear in your web browser
• new, unexpected icons appear in the task tray at the bottom of your screen
• your browser's home page suddenly changed
• the search engine your browser opens when you click "search" has been changed
• certain keys fail to work in your browser (e.g., the tab key doesn't work when you are moving to the next field within a form)
• random Windows error messages begin to appear
• your computer suddenly seems very slow when opening programs or processing tasks (saving files, etc.)

How can you prevent spyware from installing on your computer?

• To avoid unintentionally installing it yourself, follow these good security practices:• Don't click on links within pop-up windows - Because pop-up windows are often a product of spyware, clicking on the window may install spyware software on your computer. To close the pop-up window, click on the "X" icon in the titlebar instead of a "close" link within the window.
• Choose "no" when asked unexpected questions - Be wary of unexpected dialog boxes asking whether you want to run a particular program or perform another type of task. Always select "no" or "cancel," or close the dialog box by clicking the "X" icon in the titlebar.
• Be wary of free downloadable software - There are many sites that offer customized toolbars or other features that appeal to users.
• Don't download programs from sites you don't trust, and realize that you may be exposing your computer to spyware by downloading some of these programs.
• Don't follow email links claiming to offer anti-spyware software - Like email viruses, the links may serve the opposite purpose and actually install the spyware it claims to be eliminating.

How do you remove spyware?

Run a full scan on your computer with your anti-virus software - Some anti-virus software will find and remove spyware, but it may not find the spyware when it is monitoring your computer in real time. Set your anti-virus software to prompt you to run a full scan periodically.

Run a legitimate product specifically designed to remove spyware

Wednesday 8/25 - Today is a Good Day

As every day passes, it becomes clear that the boys and I are going to continue to do well. We're back to some old routines with school. Our biggest problem now is getting all of the key dates on our calendars so we don't miss something important.

But every day takes us another day farther from Kathleen's memory. As many of you know, the boys had a chance to see her the last day. I will always be grateful that we could make that happen.

That was nearly two months ago. Where has the time gone?

On my last drive up to the hospital that morning, I had a chance to think a bit about what I was going to tell her during her final moments. We had talked many times about what she wanted. How she wanted to live. How she wanted to die. But it was then I knew what had to happen and how best to make it happen to her explicit instructions to me. She trusted me to make sure it happened correctly.

But what do you say to someone? Nothing I have ever read (and I doubt ever will) even discusses this. Maybe I should write the "Idiot's Guide to Saying Good Bye to Your Dying Spouse". I'm just not sure that it will be on Amazon.com's top ten list.

So here is what I told her on July 8th...

Kathy,

Today is a good day to die.

You have fought your battles bravely with courage and honor. You have lived your life full of faith and praise. You will always be remembered by those you have loved and those who love you.

I promise you that throughout the years to come many more will know who you are, what you tried to accomplish and how cruel it is that your time here was cut short.

I am here for you now to show you my love as you have always done for me. You trusted me with your most precious possession and I am here to ensure those wishes are met.

Today you die with dignity and respect.

You do not leave us alone.
You do not leave us in pain.
You do not leave us with strangers.

Today is a good day to die.

I'll see you on the other side.

Saturday 8/21 - Pop Ups

An annoying feature of the Internet is Pop Up" ads -- advertisements which appear as new browser windows when you visit some websites. They are highly noticeable but very annoying.

To stop them, try installing the Google Tool bar for Internet Explorer. Besides having a cool search box to make Web searching easy, the tool bar allows you to block these annoying pop up ads.

If you are already using the Firefox browser, you're in luck. The new browser includes pop up blocking software already.

Pop Ups should be a thing of the past.

Thursday 8/19 - The ABCs

The boys and I took some time off and headed east to North Carolina for some R&R last week. It was bittersweet because Kathy had planned this vacation during the dark, cold and snowy days last January. Since she couldn't easily fly, we had planned to drive. Alas, the 18 hour drive to the coast was a bit more than I expected. But we managed it just fine. Thank God for Game Cube and wireless headphones in the miniban!

We arrived right after Hurricane Alex for a beautiful week of 78 degree weather, blue skies, a gentle tropical breeze and 0% humidity. On the morning we left, Bonnie and Charley came roaring in. But we headed west and missed it all. It was a perfect week. and we needed it.

The time away gave us a chance to regroup as a family with just the three of us. We ate most of meals at the beach house. But we did venture out each day for an activity, shopping, aquarium, Wright Bros Memorial at Kitty Hawk, and the Cape Hatteras lighthouse. Which Alex and John will tell you has 268 steps--but only 257 can get you up to the top.

So we're back at real life again. The boys started school today. Another first we must go through. I suspect that we'll have lots more of these "firsts" over the coming year. Everyone made it home today from school in good spirits. The new routine will be good for everyone and we are expecting great things this year.

Tuesday 8/17 - Blessings

[Kathy rarely forwarded out email chain letters. But a few months ago, this email caught her attention and she sent it to a few friends. She told me that she received many positive responses. I thought that some of you might want to read her message as welll - Rodger]

_____________________________________


Hi there!

I don't normally pass on chain e-mail but I agreed with the message in this one and thought you might like to read it too. Hope I am not wrong!

Blessings upon you, Kathleen

_____________________________________


Read this line very slowly and let it sink in...

If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

Pass this message to seven people except you and me. You will receive a miracle tomorrow ( just do it)!

THE BRICK

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar.

He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something.

As his car passed, no children appeared.

Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door!

He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown.

The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting,

"What was that all about and who are you?

Just what the heck are you doing?

That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money.

Why did you do it?"

The young boy was apologetic.

"Please, mister...please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do,"

He pleaded.

"I threw the brick because no one else would stop..." With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car.

"It's my brother," he said.

"He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up."

Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive,

"Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."

Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat.

He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts.

A quick look told him everything was going to be okay.

"Thank you and may God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger.

Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home

It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar.

The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message:

"Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!"

God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice to listen or not.




Send this to every "beautiful person" you wish to bless, . God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A newly arrived soul in Heaven was met by St. Peter. The saint toured the soul around Heaven. Both of them walked side by side inside a large workroom filled with angels.

St. Peter stopped in front of the first section and said, "This is the Receiving Section. Here, all the petitions to God said in prayer are received".

The soul looked at the section, and it was terribly busy with so many angels sorting out petitions written on voluminous paper sheets from all the people of the world.

They walked again until they reached the 2nd section, and St. Peter told the soul, "This is the Packaging and Delivery Section".

Here, the graces and blessings the people asked for are packed and delivered to the persons who asked for them down on earth."

The soul saw how busy it was. There were so many angels working in that room, since so many blessing were being packed and delivered to Earth.

Finally at the farthest corner of the room, the soul stopped at the last section. To the surprise of the soul, only one angel stayed there idly, doing nothing.

"This is the Acknowledging Section," St. Peter told the soul.

"How is it that, there is no work here?"

"That's the sad thing," St. Peter answered. "After the people received the blessings they asked for, very few send their acknowledgments".

"How does one acknowledge God's blessing?"

"Simple," St. Peter answered. "Just say, "'Thank you, Lord'."

Thank you Lord, for giving me the chance to share this message with others and also, for giving me so many wonderful people to share this with.

If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep .. you are richer than 75% of this world.

If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace .. you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy.

If you woke up this morning with more health than illness . . you are more blessed than the million who will not survive this week.

If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation you are ahead of 500 million people in the world.

If you can attend a church meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or death ..you are more blessed than three billion people in the world.

If your parents are still alive and still married .. you are very rare.

If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful, you are blessed because the majority can, but most do not.

If you can hold someone's hand, hug them or even touch them on the shoulder.. you are blessed because you can offer healing touch.

If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that..someone was thinking of you, and furthermore, you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world that cannot read at all.

Have a good day, count your blessings, and if you want, pass this along to remind everyone else how blessed we all are.

THANK YOU LORD!

Wednesday 8/5 - Interview with God

My friend Doug (from beautiful Bakersfield, CA) sent me this link today and I thought many of you would like to see it.

http://www.theinterviewwithgod.com/windowmovie.html


I'm going to take a little rest from all of the blogging. My fingers are raw to the bone.

If you haven't seen it, check out the Foundation website. A lot of progress has been made. Lots more to do. But it is a start and there are great things ahead.

I'll be back at this in a week or so. Boys will be going back to school. there are a lot of unfinished loose ends to close up.

Rodger

Tuesday 8/3 - RefDesk

Back in 1995 when the World Wide Web first appeared, there were only a few sites that were very interesting.

One was YAHOO. And it was still housed on Stanford University computers.

The other site was called Refdesk.

Since then YAHOO has morphed fropm a hobby site maintained by two PhD computer students into an incredible business that hardly resembles its modest beginnings.

But then there's ref desk. A free site that has stayed true to its original vision:

VISION STATEMENT: Refdesk is not about revenue. Refdesk is not about traffic. Refdesk is not about promotional vehicles or any form of commercialism. Refdesk is only about indexing quality Internet sites and assisting visitors in navigating these sites. At Refdesk that is all that counts and that is all that will ever count. Since 1995, Refdesk free and family friendly.
Avaritia facit Bardus - Greed makes you stupid.

The other interesting fact is that Bob Drudge created and still edits RefDesk. Oh yeah, his son was so impressed with refdesk he started a site too.

Sunday 8/1 - The Message

When we remember someone like Kathy, each of us have different memories. Some remember her smile, fragrance, clothes, and manners. Others her works.

I knew her for 15 years so I have thousands of memories. But it is often the simple memories that last the longest.

One of the most memorable experience many of you may recall too. Five years ago Kathy recorded our home answering message. I heard it practically everyday. So did many of you.

I've recorded a new one at home.

But before I erased the old one, I saved it digitally. I've listened to it many times over the past weeks. I've found it to be a comforting reminder of her boundless energy and optimism. I hope you do too.

Click Here for Kathy's family voicemail message

Wednesday 7/28 - IMDB

Jon, Alex and I love to play trivia. We all can usually remember the most obscure facts. Many times it relates to popular entertainment like movies and TV shows.

This skill was always lost on Kathleen.

"Why do you remember such details as who played Pinkie Tuscadero on Happy Days, when you can't remember to feed the cats?"

Jon and I like using the Internet Move Database at http://www.imdb.com for our fact source. Type in an actor's name or a movie title and you'll return results with complete details. Each actor's name is also hyperlinked to allow you to search for all of the movies and TV shows they have starred in. Even movies that have yet to be released are listed.

It's fun to look at some popular "new" actors of today and see that they have been working for many years. Sometimes just billed as "the doorman" or some minor role when they were waiting tables in Venice, CA and working the odd acting job.

Tuesday 7/27 - Burn, Scab, Scar

Fine.

That's the only really answer I can give to "How are you doing?"

Fine.

"How are the Boys?"

Fine.

Anything else is just too complicated. And maybe people really don't want to know the whole answer. So "fine" seems to work just fine.

But the real answer is that hurts tremendously. Words do not describe the intense pain of what has happened. And how we must move forward and get on with our lives.

The best way I can describe it is that this is similar to a third degree burn. It hurts. It really, really hurts. It hurts yesterday, today and I know it will hurt tomorrow.

Oh, a scab might start to form as the pain heals. But everyday, there is something that rips the wound open again. Today it was reading the Creve Coeur City August Newsletter which had a feature story of Kathleen on the front page. The pain and bleeding starts again.

In time I suppose, the scab will form and fall off.

But the scar will be there forever.

As a reminder of what happened.

Saturday 7/24 - Exercise

This was my first week back to work. Things are getting back to normal or at least the "new normal".

Several years ago, Kathy and I realized that these days would come. Probably sooner rather than later. So my health became as important to her and me as just hers alone. We both became more active and watched what we ate.

I started a more aggressive exercise program, swimming, running, biking and weights. In the first year, I dropped 40 pounds. I subsequently gained some of that back as muscle the second year.

So in addition to working again, I've started my exercise routine. I can't get to the gym as often so I'm running around the subdivision in the early morning and evening time. And getting to the YMCA at lunch for some swim time.

I've found a great online tool for tracking my activity, time and mileage. It is the Cool Running website available at http://www.coolrunning.com . Look for the Resources icon and select the Running log. You can also track other sports such as swimming or biking. It will keep a daily, weekly, monthly and yearly total of your time and mileage. You can export back to your PC as well as prepare some simple graphs. All Free. Check it out!

Thursday 7/22 - PC Virus Tips

Over the past few weeks, many friends and fmaily have been infected with new PC viruses. Be sure to have up-to-date anti-virus software loaded. PC viruses can be prevented with simple precautions:

Virus Detection and Prevention Tips

• Do not open any files attached to an email from an unknown, suspicious or untrustworthy source.
• Do not open any files attached to an email unless you know what it is, even if it appears to come from a dear friend or someone you know. Some viruses can replicate themselves and spread through email. Better be safe than sorry and confirm that they really sent it.
• Do not open any files attached to an email if the subject line is questionable or unexpected.
• Delete chain emails and junk email. Do not forward or reply to any to them. These types of email are considered spam, which is unsolicited, intrusive mail that clogs up the network.
• Do not download any files from strangers.
• Exercise caution when downloading files from the Internet. Ensure that the source is a legitimate and reputable one. Verify that an anti-virus program checks the files on the download site. If you're uncertain, don't download the file at all or download the file to a floppy and test it with your own anti-virus software.
• Update your anti-virus software regularly. Over 500 viruses are discovered each month, so you'll want to be protected. These updates should be at the least the products virus signature files. You may also need to update the product's scanning engine as well.
• Back up your files on a regular basis. If a virus destroys your files, at least you can replace them with your back-up copy. You should store your backup copy in a separate location from your work files, one that is preferably not on your computer.
• When in doubt, always err on the side of caution and do not open, download, or execute any files or email attachments. Not executing is the more important of these caveats.

Tuesday 7/20 - Family Values

Kathy and I always joked that we each enjoyed being a single parent---as long as it wasn't for too long. In the short run, it was always easier to work with the boys, decide what was for dinner and how the evening would play out. But we'd grow tired of it if it went on for more than 7 or 10 days. If it did, we'd start wearing thin and the house "karma" would get chaotic.

Fortunately, neither of our work schedules took us away from home many times for such long durations.

For those of you who knew us, you knew we were both very analytical people who enjoyed knowing the rules and how to succeed within that structure. Several years ago, Kathy and I started work on "rules" for the Mansfield house. What we valued together and how we'd want those values to affect our family. We pulled from numerous sources and freely edited. These rules helped to remind us and the boys our mutual rights as well as responsibilities of being a family.

Today started the 10th week for me as a single parent. So I took the time to re-edit the rules, discuss them with the boys and re-post them in our kitchen. Thought some of you might enjoy seeing them:

In the Mansfield house, we value:

Honesty. When you tell me something, I can believe it. I can also count on you not to omit important information that you know I’d like to receive.

Perseverance. We don’t give up easily. If something’s tough, I expect you to keep trying. If you hit a roadblock, come to me and I’ll try to help. If we can go no further, then so be it, but we give 100 percent effort.

Compassion for others. In our family we try to put ourselves in other people’s shoes. I expect you to care about my and other people’s feelings, and to act accordingly.

Faithfulness. We celebrate God in our house. We will pray each day and we will give blessings for our meals. We also will attend church on a regular basis.

Volunteerism. When we can help others, we will. Whether this means a quick trip to deliver food or supplies to someone in need, to help a neighbor or friend who needs us, or to work a community service project, we will try to give back to this world some of the blessings that we have received.

Responsibility. In our household, we keep our promises and fulfill our responsibilities. If you or I say that we will do something by a certain date or time, it will be done. If we run into a problem or a time crunch, we will alert the person and work out a solution. We do not take responsibility lightly.

Zero tolerance for illegal substance use. No one in our home will use illegal substances. That includes underage alcohol usage (a substance that becomes legal at age 21) or street drugs of any kind. None, nada, zip, zilch.

Work before play. I expect you to get your homework done before going out with friends, playing videogames or watching TV or engaging in hours of outside play. Sure, you can take a break after school, but I don’t want to deal with homework hassles at bedtime. I also expect that household chores will be performed in a timely manner.

Politeness. I will be polite to you, even when irritated or annoyed, and I expect the same in return. Sure, we may get a bit testy at times, but I will apologize for my slip-ups, as I expect you to do also.

Respect for elders. Although I may seem a bit old-fashioned at times and perhaps “out of it,” I expect your respect. Find tolerance for my “senior dad moment of forgetfulness” and my disciplinary ways, but value my years of experience and wisdom. In return, you’ll see that I will show great respect for your thoughts and behaviors.

Communication even when grumpy. When you’re upset and sulky, I know that you may not want to talk with me. That’s understandable. But please understand that your lack of communication leaves me guessing — I don’t know whether it’s something that I’ve done (or not done) or whether it has to do with your friends or school. Your grumpiness can frighten me and I need to know the cause. You don’t have to tell me intimacies or secrets, just let me know where it’s coming from and whether I can help. In return, I will respect your feelings and give you your privacy.

Athletic endeavors. We value a healthy body as well as a strong mind. Therefore, I’d like you to try out some sports, both individual and team, until you find one that you like or at least can tolerate. If not, then you need to run, jog, or exercise in some fashion at least three times a week. I’ll do it with you if you want a partner in pain.

Academic achievement. In this family, we work to our potential. I don’t expect you to necessarily be the best student at school but I do want you to complete all of your homework assignments and to study adequately for tests.

Reliability and promptness. I will be on time and so will you. I can be counted on to pick you up when I say I will so you will not be left waiting. On your part, you will be ready to go when it is time to leave or be picked up. Also, when you say that you’ll be home by a certain time, it will be that time—not 15 minutes later. When I call you in from outside play, I expect you to hear me and to come right home.

Monday 7/19 - A New Normal

One of the things I am starting to realize is that things will never be the same for me or my family. The best we can hope for is to get to a "new" normal. With Kathy gone from our day-to-day lives, we have to hunker down and get to work. But that is easier said than done.

Last week, Jon and I went to summer Boy Scout camp. He should have gone last Sunday (7/11). But we were there by Thursday afternoon. Normally, no merit badge can be earned if you arrive after Tuesday, bu the aquatics director did the right thing. He peeled off a scout staffer who spent most of Friday working with Jon. thank you Mike Brand. By 5 pm, Jon had his Lifesaving Merit Badge. A sense of accomplish for the week.

I've started back to work. There are still a thousand million details to work out. Starting to get a handle on a lot of the open things to worry about. Starting to see those hospital/doctor bills start to come. Of course, it seems that the ICU doctors aren't in our plan, even though the hospital is covered. Not sure how this can happen but that's something to worry about later.

Sunday 7/18 - Photography Copyrights

Slashdot (the Linux/techie website) has a running discussion going on professional photographers who retain the copyrights for weddings and other photographs. The discussion centers on whether photographers will give limited reproduction rights for electronic media, scans, disks, CDs, website, etc. Some do, most fo not. A lot of the users focus on the fact that newlyweds pay thousands of dollars for a photographer to take photos of THEM and then hold them hostage for reprints, etc. Why shouldn't this be "work for hire" where the buyer owns the work?

http://ask.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=04/07/14/1455222&tid=187&tid=98&tid=4

Would you pay extra to have electronic copies of your professional photographs? Would you pay for the entire copyright or just limited reproductions? Are you a professional photographer and if so, what do you think?

Share your story or comments by clicking the Cmments link below.

Saturday 7/17 - Alternative to Microsoft Internet Explorer

Microsoft has conquered most of the computing universe and Internet and Explorer is the dominant web browser. Something like 98% of all web users have IE loaded on their PCs.

Resistance is futile. You have been assimilated.

But it is not the only browser around.

I've found the new Firefox browser to be a good alternative. There are several new cool features, like tabbed windows and custom themes, that make it superior to the latest version from Microsoft. And it appears to be less vulnerable to the MS Windows exploits that have plagued Microsoft of the past few years.

You can download the latest version from the mozilla website for free:
http://www.mozilla.org/products/firefox/

Would you consider switching to another web browser? Have you tried the Firefox software? What do you think?

Click the comments link below to post your thoughts...