As every day passes, it becomes clear that the boys and I are going to continue to do well. We're back to some old routines with school. Our biggest problem now is getting all of the key dates on our calendars so we don't miss something important.
But every day takes us another day farther from Kathleen's memory. As many of you know, the boys had a chance to see her the last day. I will always be grateful that we could make that happen.
That was nearly two months ago. Where has the time gone?
On my last drive up to the hospital that morning, I had a chance to think a bit about what I was going to tell her during her final moments. We had talked many times about what she wanted. How she wanted to live. How she wanted to die. But it was then I knew what had to happen and how best to make it happen to her explicit instructions to me. She trusted me to make sure it happened correctly.
But what do you say to someone? Nothing I have ever read (and I doubt ever will) even discusses this. Maybe I should write the "Idiot's Guide to Saying Good Bye to Your Dying Spouse". I'm just not sure that it will be on Amazon.com's top ten list.
So here is what I told her on July 8th...
Kathy,
Today is a good day to die.
You have fought your battles bravely with courage and honor. You have lived your life full of faith and praise. You will always be remembered by those you have loved and those who love you.
I promise you that throughout the years to come many more will know who you are, what you tried to accomplish and how cruel it is that your time here was cut short.
I am here for you now to show you my love as you have always done for me. You trusted me with your most precious possession and I am here to ensure those wishes are met.
Today you die with dignity and respect.
You do not leave us alone.
You do not leave us in pain.
You do not leave us with strangers.
Today is a good day to die.
I'll see you on the other side.
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